Back From a Jog

It’s spiritual out my window.
Time to think of the universe
and how we are but hackey sacks
at the cosmic Bonnaroo concert.
So small, so meaningless, so many,
kicked around for no reason
but the entertainment of our high Gods.

Sweat drips from my nose
to the wooden floor
where hundreds of ants crawl
over the peel of my grapefruit.
I scoop it up and toss it,
ants and all,
into the garbage.

- Alex L. Swartzentruber

(featured in the poetry forum 07.10.11)

Grocery Shopping

In the store
I couldn’t afford
anything
but two cans of beans
and a can of beets.

While leaving
I stood by the gumball machine
marveling
at the Chiclets and bouncy balls.

I need a job.

- Alex L. Swartzentruber

(added 07.10.11)

For Mary Conway

Just saw a big white Buick LeSabre
go by in the alley.
It had a big decal of a cupcake
on the back passenger window.
Looks like the car I should be driving.

It’s a can of beans day.

Last nite Mary and I spat in all the bushes
on the way home,
hoping to hit a leprechaun in the eyes
for being a rich bitch.

- Alex L. Swartzentruber

(featured in the poetry forum 01.12.11)

Labor of Lasciviousness

The girls I meet wanna suck my blood,
not my boner but my bone marrow.
They wanna pull my hair and push
me out in front of cars and trucks.
Vroom Vroom Pow Splat.
They wanna back me into corners and hit
me in the face with axes and wall
me up with bricks and black cats.
They wanna chain me to anchors and then
Invite me swimming because they know
I cant say no, because no
is such an ugly word, and girls…

girls are quite the opposite.

- Alex L. Swartzentruber

(featured in the poetry forum 05.29.10)

I’m Lonely and I’m Handsome

I’m a 21 year old guy
looking for a good girl
who goes Woof Woof.
You know?
I’m looking for someone
who has barked at a car
and really meant it.
Someone who could either
cuddle and watch TV all night
or go out dancing.
Yeah, someone unpredictable like that.
Or maybe somebody who scratches their butt
by scooting it across the carpet
with their legs in the air.
Have you ever imagined
a centaur doing that?
That image always made me
enormously happy.
Yeah, maybe she could be a centaur.
Yeah, a centaur
with a vagina in the front.

- Alex L. Swartzentruber

(featured in the poetry forum 03.18.10)