Black Angus Sushi

Ow yeah, that Black Angus Sushi bar's
Opening up down on Main Street.
Got some opening day discount coupons.
Yum, they gotta have good stuff
With a name like that and
New in town and all.
Ain't had no new eatin' place
Since the Colonel came and caused the
Two-block-long line just to get in
And get some fried chicken butt.
Yessiree, looka that menu in the window.
Fresh raw carp chunks in beef intestines.
Catfish head stuffed with herbivore tongue.
Herbivore? Must be a salad.
Bluegill fillet wrapped in skinned ear.
Mmmmm, sounds yummie.
Sounds yummie if you're a hyena.
Somehow I think I lost my appetite.
Well, I don't care if cousin Earl
And the pals he met in the asylum
Are runnin' the place.
I got my standards.
Or, is that limits?
Shoot, I'm for headin' over to Lucille's
And having some of her special
Kosher Bar-B-Q'd pork.
Earl's probably plannin' on
Lockin' the doors and
Settin' the place on fire anyway.

- Daniel S. Irwin

The Invitation

I guess she was just being polite
Inviting me to her daughter's wedding.
Don't really care for the people
But one feels an obligation to
Accept the invitation graciously
And seek out the appropriate gift.
I guess, too, that that'll be the
Last invitation they extend to me.
No doubt it was the 'used' aspect
Of the double-dick dildo that
Put them off.

- Daniel S. Irwin

Sleeping the Sleep

Juan, he sleeps the sleep of the dead,
Which isn't really sleep but had a lot to do
With why we buried him...that and
The multiple stab wounds in his back.
Diego, real name Sandy, he sleeps the sleep
Of the living...which consists of nightmares.
So he gets the bug juice to sleep.
The nurses bring him a dose of it every night.
If he kept it in his cell, he'd eventually
Take it all at once when he got depressed.
Then Diego, real name Sandy, would sleep
The sleep of the dead, which isn't really sleep,
Just like Juan who sleeps the sleep of the dead.
It's sometimes more dangerous in the joint
Than it was or is on the street. But ya gotta do
What ya gotta do and if you're hooked up,
As in a gang, you fight when told to fight...you kill
When told to kill. And now Diego, real name Sandy,
Sleeps the sleep of the living with his nightmares
'Cause he's gonna be locked up for a long time
For what he did to Juan. And Juan,
He sleeps the sleep of the dead...
Which isn't really sleep.

- Daniel S. Irwin

My Cosmonaut

(Or partying with Litvera
the Russian exchange student)

Drunk and horny,
a true scholar of the cosmos,
Litvera encapsulated my cosmonaut
in a latex space suit and
we launched him on a journey
over which he had no control
or choice but to do his best
until reaching voyage-end climax
and utter exhaustion.

- Daniel S. Irwin

On Hemingway

Hemingway used to be my favorite writer.
Papa wrote in bold words of bold action
And saved us from the dreary extras with
An economy of setting and void pretense.
Even though some of his work was dated,
It transcended time in reflection of the
Human condition and perilous plight.
I was a most avid reader of his work.
At least, until I realized that his writing
Was full of cockeyed crap same as others.
Somehow astute tales of war and death
Didn't quite measure up to the magazines
Filled with pictures of luscious nude women
That I lingered over while hidin' in the can
Havin' a forbidden smoke in high school.

- Daniel S. Irwin