   page 2 of 3
WHEN HE IS RIGHT
When he is right
you could not have
a better son.
He helps me with
his father, who
is old and frail.
He helps me in
the kitchen, with
the dishes and
preparing meals.
With my age I
cannot do too
much anymore
and I rely
on him to help
with things around
the house. I don’t
know what happened
to him. He was
fine and then he
was not. I think
he stopped taking
his medicine.
Someone he cared
about just died.
His girlfriend broke
up with him. I
don’t know what caused
him to lose his
senses. Since he
has been in the
hospital, he
seems much better.
He is the same
son that was kind
and helpful in
the house. When do
you think I could
take him home? If
he has to stay
longer, I will
abide by your
decision. But
he wants to come
home and I have
no problem with
taking him home.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(featured in the poetry forum 07.29.09)
I HAVE ISSUES
What angels good or bad
hover over my shoulder?
Do they want my soul?
I have issues sometimes.
In my bedroom under
my bed are newspapers,
which I steal from news
racks because voices
command me to do it.
I hear angels with wings
and angels with horns,
who guide my actions.
They want me to save
the city from the bad news
printed in newspapers.
I bring a bag of quarters
to every newspaper rack
in town and steal every
issue of the city's papers.
I am doing God's will,
protecting the human race
from news about war, death,
and famine. I save them
from the frivolous lives
of celebrities. I take the
papers to my room and
edit out all the bad stuff.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(featured in the poetry forum 06.10.09)
AT THE ROADSIDE
I met Death at the roadside.
Death was not as thin
as I imagined.
It wore a dark cloak.
When the wind blew and its
cloak blew as well
all the souls Death had
stolen could be seen
trapped inside its bones,
which was like a cage
imprisoning souls.
Death opened its mouth and tried
to take me inside. But it was
only a dream and
the fear I felt shook
me awake, screaming like a child.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 06.10.09)
THE MOON LADY
It makes me sick to
my stomach to see
her in my dreams,
the moon lady with
her white hair. I’m
tired of her laugh.
Her light shines on me.
It’s annoying. The
moon lady wants
to kill me. Most nights
she’s in the sky on
spring and summer nights.
Her ruby red lips
taste of plums when she
kisses me in dreams.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 05.01.09)
MADHOUSE ON THE MOON
In my moon walks
I found a madhouse.
The stars would shine
on its doors at night.
The madhouse, built
far away from earth,
safe from the storms
and hot winds of hell.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(featured in the poetry forum 05.01.09)
A KIND OF CRY
On an empty road
a voice called to me.
Shadows followed me.
I felt stabbing pains.
In the branches I
heard a kind of cry.
It hardly mattered
that the sun rose for
the last time. Where the
cry came from I heard
my name called out. I
saw the branches shake
wildly. In the mud
I left footprints. And
I told the voice to
remain silent. The
branches were still. The
sun rose for the last time.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 05.01.09)
THE QUEEN OF GOSSIP
In my mind someone narrates my conversations
and broadcasts them to my enemies. Right and
left I am being vilified and crucified for having
thoughts of filth and decadence. Right and left
I am being summoned by the queen of gossip.
Being left-handed, I know she is in league with
the devil. Her feminine sensibility is rarely
evident in her world of gossip, rumor, and innuendo.
She is not a flower. The queen of gossip reads
my mind and makes it impossible for me to have
secrets. The queen of gossip is a hermaphrodite.
She is not the flower she pretends to be. She
becomes a fiend when she does not get her way.
I don’t feel safe with her reading my mind.
With all the strength I can muster, I cast her out.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 03.27.09)
WITHDRAWING
Sitting in a jail cell,
homeless no more,
bothering with the voices,
spreading feces on the walls.
Ready for release to
a shelter or
psychiatric ward, he hopes
to be back on the streets soon.
Withdrawing from cocaine
and alcohol,
shouting louder than all the
voices in his head, banging
his head on the black bars
in his jail cell,
splitting his forehead, the blood
sparkling on his face and clothes.
Withdrawing from himself
and everyone
else around him. His only
friend was the voice in his head.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 03.27.09)
SELECTED BY VOICES
Sometimes it is best not to speak.
Speaking could be overrated.
Talking to voices isn’t all that
it is cracked up to be either.
I cannot get respect in this place.
No one believes me that I have
been selected by the voices
to lead this world and save it.
I would walk on water until I
reach the other side of the world.
But I am being watched closely
and I can’t accomplish my goals.
They say I will drown if I try to
walk on water. I don’t know how
to swim. But I have spiritual
advisors who talk to me. They say
I would not drown. They insist
that I save the world by walking
across the sea to the Middle East and
make the enemies friends for life.
Because they do not believe me
in this place. I refuse to speak to
anyone. I refuse to utter a word.
The world is going to end soon.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(featured in the poetry forum 03.27.09)
UNCONVINCED
I am always here
for days, weeks, before
they let me go home.
I test the doctors
and they test me in
a literal sense.
I bust a few chops.
They medicate me.
I become serene.
I give in to their
ways to leave this place.
I leave unconvinced.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(featured in the poetry forum 02.20.09)
STILL WATER
Late at night,
the still water,
without wind
the paper boat
won’t sail, weighed
down by moonlight.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 02.20.09)
SINNERS IN THE BONFIRE
I was vanished,
devoured in fact.
A bonfire was
made of me and
my ash whirled in
the air, burning
with other souls
in the warm night.
I was one of
the cadavers
tossed into a
terrible fire.
I was in chains
and drugged. I heard
cries from others
suffering the
same fate as me.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 01.19.09)
THE RAIN CAME DOWN
The rain came down
after days of
drought. W ho knew the
roof would not stop
the rain. It fell
on books in the
bookshelf, ruining
some of the best
books I owned. I
read most of the
books all the way
through. Some I did
not get a chance
to read. The rain
went through all the
pages. If the
rain could read, I
would like to ask
it what it thought
of each author.
Which one was its
favorite, which
it did not like.
I curse the rain
for doing this,
but do not blame
it for what it
did. We needed
the rain more than
I needed most
of those wet books.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(featured in the poetry forum 01.19.09)
SICK IN THE HEAD
You need to get me cigarettes.
You need to get me a wig.
If you can’t get me anything
I want, get your face out of
here. I need doers not people
like you and the nurse, who say
that is not my job. The hell with
all of you. I just need some
food, new clothes, and a warm shower.
I am a famous singer like
Chaka Khan. Motown owes me lots
of money. I can rap like
no one has ever rapped before.
I need section 8 housing
for my husband and my fifty
children. I want you to get
out of my business if you just
want to put me in some place
with people who are sick in the head.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 01.19.09)
I JUST WANT TO GO
I used to sing.
I used to pray.
I used to dance.
These days I sit
outside and watch
the birds.
I enjoy the weather.
I go to church.
I just want to go.
I feel well enough.
I don’t need any
more medicine.
It makes me stutter.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 12.29.08)
GODLIKE VOICE
I heard a voice,
godlike, in the
rain. The voice made
a sound that scared
my soul. It was
a lonely day.
I felt alone.
I shut out the
voice. The godlike
voice boomed in the
rings of rain and
spread throughout the
earth. Every star
heard the loud sound.
The godlike voice
bounced off the sun.
The temperature
rose. Birds fell from
the sky. The sun
fell into the sea.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 12.29.08)
TURN AWAY
We stop caring sometimes.
We turn away from love.
We wake up one morning
and nothing matters. We
offer hostilities.
We diminish ourselves.
We take a step back. Love
no longer exists. We
turn our heads to the
wreck that is our life. We
let night summon our fears
and slip into our deaths.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 12.29.08)
THE QUEEN OF SKID ROW
She walked in skid row,
half-dressed, and
talking to herself.
Grandiose like a
queen or a
princess, she lacked a
crown. She wore a wig,
which reeked of
the dirty streets and
cigarettes. The queen
of skid row
walked through a red light
stopping traffic as
she mumbled to
herself in a coke-
induced stupor. She
called out for
her king, a pimp named
Eddie, who owed her
a night’s pay.
But Eddie was not
to be found. The queen
of skid row
was crowned on the streets.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 11.26.08)
HALF-IN HELL AND HALF-DEAD
From loneliness
A poet was born.
With his true love
Gone his heart died.
All he wanted
Was what she could
Not give him and
His dreams fell deep.
Somewhere in the
Darkness lurked the
Poet, half-in-
Hell and half-dead.
He wrote out of
His misery.
He did not call
These words poems.
He fell in love
With words as he
Had fallen for
His one true love.
Half-in-hell and
Half-dead, he sought
Salvation and
Love through his words.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 11.26.08)
CASTING SPELLS
They hired a witch at the job.
She was a real witch as well.
She asked for a paid day off
on Halloween because of
her religion. Of course, she
was denied and she took her
complaint to the union rep.
When she was turned down again
she called in sick on that day.
The witch cast spells on every
one involved in denying
her request for a paid day
off. The powers that be did
not consider her beliefs
worthy enough or valid.
When they started to get warts
on their asses and croaking
like frogs the witch would strut up
and down the job site with a smile
so wide. When she was laid off
the building had to be closed
down due to an infestation of frogs.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 10.28.08)
FUGITIVE HEART
In flight, high on love, not enough
to capture your fugitive heart.
Like a sinking ship I fall deep
in cold waters. I try to rise,
but I only sink further. There is
no incentive for me. All your love
pulls in the opposite direction.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 10.28.08)
SCAPEGOAT
I know my mom called
the police, but why?
She just wants to make
my life miserable.
It would be easy
to kill myself, but
then my mom would say
that I was to blame.
I thought I was going
to the employment
office to get a job.
I did not think I’d
come here for mental
problems I do not have.
Society mistreats
me. But I refuse
to be a scapegoat. I
don’t trust my mother.
You are all taking
advantage of my
religious and my
moral standards by
feeding me fish, eggs, and
milk. I told the doctor
I hate that food. But they
still serve it to me.
Everyone’s a Nazi
here just like my mother.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 10.28.08)
THE EVIL JERKS
Someone was in
my apartment
watching me go
to the bathroom.
My dead son is
always with me.
I see him in
my apartment.
He came back to
protect me from
the evil jerks
who want to kill
me. My son has
little blood in
him. He is just
a torso.
Diabetes
took his legs and
his arms away.
I hold him and
I hug him, but
he has no mouth.
He can't thank me
or warn me when
the evil jerks
come into my
bedroom seeking
sex and money.
My bladder fell
out yesterday.
I wrapped it in
foil and put it
in the fridge.
The evil jerks
probably want
to take that too.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 09.26.08)
IF I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
If I didn't know you,
I wouldn't be missing you.
Your smile wouldn't be on my mind.
Your kind and gentle ways would
go unnoticed. My love for you
wouldn't be floating around like a
pale ghost. How I called you
beautiful and meant it in
a good way. I was high on your
love. I needed nothing else.
How I tremble like a dope fiend
in need of a fix, my arms needing
only you. I do not know how
I am living now. I feel almost
like there is someone else in
my place. There is sand in my
heart. I'm like a sandman.
I am mud in the water. The sea
salt fills my pores and my wounds.
I am no nearer to my love.
I am no closer to feeling alive.
I am stranger to myself.
I wish you never existed.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 09.26.08)
BLIND EYES
I saw myself
yesterday, but
today I am
nothing at all.
My eyes have gone
blind. I am not
myself today.
I see strange things
going on in
my mind. I close
my eyes and see
a city with
no mountains, just
a sky far off
in the distance.
Wilted flowers
everywhere and
farmers out of
work, barren fields,
and vultures up
in the sky. I
have two blind eyes
for their bellies.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 09.26.08)
YOU MUST GO
You must go.
All I am interested in
is when will lunch
be served. I
am hungry.
I need food. Pasta is
my favorite food.
I don’t want
to answer any more
of your questions.
Go away.
If you can’t bring me
something to eat,
what good are you?
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 09.05.08)
THE BOTTOM
I cleaned my glasses
because I never saw
ghosts before. The one
I saw yesterday
was wicked and drank
all my liquor. I
saw a cadaver
and it looked like me.
One of these days
I would hit bottom
I was told. In all
my years I did not
believe the bottom
would happen to me.
I thought I had a
better destiny.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 09.05.08)
I ALMOST DIED
I have always taken
care of myself. I came
into the hospital
because of my back pain.
These idiots filled me
with Haldol shots and I
almost died. They don’t know
anything about me.
I am depressed. I am
not schizophrenic. Why
would a psychiatrist
do this to me? I am
going to Hawaii.
I don’t want to live in
America anymore.
I do not consider
Hawaii as being
a part of the U.S.
I have my passport if
I want to go further.
My chronic back pain is
killing me. I might as
well hang myself or shoot
myself. I want to die.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 09.05.08)
MENTAL HEALTH WORKER
My job is not to make people happy or to make friends with them. I need to say no when people want me to say yes. I say yes when it is part of my job to say yes. These people who get lucky when I say yes think I am a swell guy. The people who hear me say no, curse me under their breath or just let it out into my ear and let me have it. I have learned not to argue. I have learned to be polite and understanding while saying no.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 08.10.08)
CUSTOMER SERVICE
The sarcasm is thick
in his voice on the
telephone, but I don’t
take the bait. I hear
the complaint and don’t
offer argument.
Why make a situation
worse? I hear the voice
until it calms down.
The sarcasm fades and
I am able to
hang up and go home.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 08.10.08)
ONE MICROPHONE
There is just one microphone up on the stage. There is just one microphone, but no one sings. The band plays instrumentals. They’re not really that bad. If you like static and drum solos, then this is your band. Do you like dueling guitar solos and a fat bass line? Look no further, this is your band. They are so clever. There is just one microphone up on the stage. No one dares come near it. Nobody sings, nobody yells, nobody whispers a word. I thought I heard humming once, but that was just static. It seems like they need a singer. But they’re happy to tour without one. One time they recorded random voices and played a recording of the voices behind their static. I thought it was all right. I wanted to write some lyrics for them. I wanted to offer my services as a singer. But they said they already had a singer. They pointed to the one microphone up on the stage. They asked me if I saw him. I shook my head and said no. They said he was rather shy. They said he was invisible. They told me he could not speak. But he was a real good dancer and an integral part of the band. They thanked me for the lyrics, but they said the invisible man was their lyricist. They said he was the leader of the band.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 08.10.08)
DON JUAN
In Spanish
the Cuban man
stated he was Korean,
and then laughed.
He claimed it
was New Year's Eve
Nineteen-Forty Four and
laughed harder.
I am four
plus four thousand
years of age, he said, in
his rapid speech.
He kissed a
peer, who kissed him
back, each peer diagnosed
as Bipolar.
He had not
showered or changed
his clothing in weeks. Still,
Don Juan found
words of love
and romance to
entice female patients
to a kiss from
his unwashed
mouth. The doctors,
nurses and other female
staff did not
fall for his
words, intrusive
behavior, or poor
boundaries.
In public
he would stroke his
unwashed member, laughing,
and hearing
the voices
in his head. The
hypersexual man went
by Don Juan.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 07.21.08)
DEATH IS A DEVIL
Death is a devil,
who lurks in shadows.
It takes lives and it
clutches hearts firmly.
It lives inside caves
and cannot be caught.
Death abhors love and
this is not a lie.
Death is the one in
disguise. It can be
a stain or a man.
It won't be denied.
It knows when to strike.
All things must pass. No
one's time belongs to
them. Death will take it.
This world is not for
us. This world is not
for me. Death controls
our existence. It
lies to us always.
This world is not ours.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 07.21.08)
SOUND COERCION
The FBI and Warner Brothers
are following me around
with cameras. They are taping
a movie about my life.
They are practicing sound
coercion. I hear their cameras
in the shower and in
the family room. I need help.
I get messages from my friends
and relatives from the TV
and radio telling me to be careful.
The cameras keep rolling.
I don't know why there are so
many nurses around me.
I don't need to take medications.
I'm healthy in my mind.
The FBI and Warner Brothers
need to pay me my money
for the movies they have made
about me. I am a star.
There is a conspiracy against me.
I just want to go home
without any cameras filming me.
I can't even take a piss.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 07.21.08)
IN '41
In '41 I was
only a child,
too young to join
the army.
In ’41 I was
just a baby,
too small to walk,
too small to
speak a word or make
the world a better place.
In '41 I did
not know my name.
I would have changed
it if I
knew who I was in
’41 now.
I was too young
to defend
my land from our foes,
too young to wipe my nose.
In '41 I had
no crazy thoughts
inside my head.
If I did
I could not think
that far back.
I was too young
to make waves,
too young to make life
a better place, yeah.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 06.26.08)
WAITING FOR MY MOM
I am waiting
for my mom
to pick me up.
The sixty-year
old patient
tells his doctor.
Here for shooting
a starter
pistol from his
seventeenth floor
window at
people he thought
were shooting at
him. There were
no other shots
reported, but
his. The man
afraid to be
shot had the cops
at his door
with real pistols.
The doctor asked
how old was
his mom and if
she was alive?
The patient said
he was fine.
He said he was
a doctor and
demanded
to be released.
At night he cried
for his mom,
who never came.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 06.26.08)
I AM THE SUN
I am the sun.
I live off air and water.
I need a bottle
of cognac to
pour on the insects
and lice on my skin.
I have lost thirty
pounds in six months
because the bugs
are drinking my blood.
I am god.
I am a doctor.
I had some bad dirt
get on me from
the Los Angeles
ground, which caused
my skin to look
this way. I need
to get out and
collect some cans.
I recycle to live.
I need to go out
hunting for food.
I want to go
to the machine
and get some money.
I need to live
in a duplex.
I need to live
in a high rise
because I am the sun.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
(added 06.26.08)
DEPRESSING DAY
When I asked the depressed
lady why she wanted to die,
“to get to Heaven,” she said.
If I were to go back to my
Catholic school days, “I would
tell her, “You go to hell if you
kill yourself.” But I don’t.
The depressed lady not only
wanted to die, but she wanted
to speed up the process by
overdosing on her pills or
cutting her wrists with a blade.
I asked the depressed lady
if she read or if she had hobbies
to make her feel better, she
said, “Yes. But I lost interest.”
I was way over my head here.
I could not make the depressed
lady smile or feel good about
the future. I wondered if that was
even part of the job.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
SMALL WAIST
That small waist
turned heads in the tavern.
Glasses were
emptied as eyes followed
the small waist.
Is she a prostitute asked a woman?
Why don’t you ask her, said the
man she was with?
The woman gave the man she was
with an icy stare.
The small waist
walked out of the tavern.
A blue-eyed,
mascara stained prostitute
livened things up for a moment.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
GENUINE GENIUS
Who set the sun off in the distance?
Who painted it red orange?
Whose brush splashed the rivers green?
The fish silver? The skies dark?
Who placed the songbird on the bent branch
and filled it with sound?
Some mad artist?
Some genuine genius?
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
HOW WILL I MAKE FRIENDS NOW?
I’m really worried
about my hair.
It won’t grow.
I can’t get a job
because of my
hair, you know.
I’m really upset
today. I don’t
know why I’m
here. I don’t want to
answer any
of your dumb
questions because I
don’t have mental
problems. I
have a feeling in
the back of my
teeth. I need
a dentist. I don’t
need a shrink. My
plan is to
live with my boyfriend
in Bel Air. We
were going
to get married. But
my hair caught fire.
How will I
make friends now? I’m not
whatever the
shrink tagged me.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
MALODOROUS DRUG
He sniffs his own feces and urine.
He claims it gets him higher
than crack, speed, or PCP.
He concocts this malodorous drug
in the restroom inside a cup
half-full of rubbing alcohol.
I thought he was strange when he said he
was hooked on instant coffee
with sugar and cream packets.
But hearing about human waste used
as a means to get high is
something I had not heard before.
It was reported there have been more
than one explosion as
the drug splatters in his room.
His roommates come out gagging for air.
The Group Homes have crossed him off
of their placement lists forever.
The doctors give him other drugs which
he is convinced is poison.
He would rather drink urine.
He would rather sniff his own waste to
self-medicate, to get high from
the most malodorous drug.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
CONTRADICTORY MAN
I am psycho.
I am a gangster.
I am a playboy
like President Clinton.
I speak German.
I speak Chinese.
I am a Catholic-Jew.
I was born in a stable.
I’m from Bethlehem.
I’m from East Berlin.
I came from Cuba
on a motor boat.
I was arrested.
I am homeless.
I am a rich man
from Beverly Hills.
I need my slippers.
I need my clothes.
I want to walk naked
and barefoot on fire.
I am a refugee.
I am a citizen.
I am the President
of the United States.
- Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
next page >>
|
