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Heart Code (···· · ·— ·—· — | —·—· ——— —·· ·)

I’m going to re-write my language
emotions channeled into four chambers
Animal instinct lives inside of me
and so my signals fire-fly
mark my heart code
burn these rhythms

h · · · ·
e ·
a · —
r · — ·
t —

emotionally translated:

“di di di dit di di dah di dah dit dah”

beyond the sound lies
my Mayan murmur
72 beats at hint of sun
forming snake shadows
I sacrifice heart
staked at the tip of life’s pyramids
crawling, I go

s · · ·
n — ·
a · —
k — · —
e ·

sensitively spoken:

“di di dit dah di di dah dah di dah dit”

There’s no reason to placate my four walls
only your electric pulses will do
this language a telegraph wire
coding these I love you’s
can you hear it?
even the shadows speak
shedding into another season
slithering in war bought oil
my snake heart

© Rafael Andrade Garza, June 14, 2009

(featured in the poetry forum 07.07.09)

shadowboxing

Sometimes, I feel
That I no longer
have a fight left in me
I’m less of a Balboa
and more of a Glass Joe
I want to fade
into a mass of an eclipse
and shadowbox
a bloated sun
dodge the finesse moon
while upper cutting a star cast sky
teeth spit showers of light
several stringed defeats
introspective mirror
tells no lie
I hug the night clouds
like a body pillow
and brace for a dark night
its an exercise of love
muscles ready
heart weak
at the sight of you
“down goes my heart!!
down goes my heart!!
...down goes my heart!”

(featured in the poetry forum 05.24.09)

Concerto Morado: No. 33 in C

There’s this small space
before it rains
that the finger clouds swell
blanket into cumulonimbus
you wait for it
like love,
just before something is said.

alone, paired or in purple clusters
anticipation is precipitation
they are moments we cover
with envelopes and umbrellas
they will surely arrive
prepared or not

love is like rain cascading a soul
rain is like love overflowing with hope
it falls like keystrokes
dark heavy clouds a grand piano
or a temperamental virga
upstaged by a blush red sunset.

(added 05.24.09)

Ghostbusters

There's this certainty
That I know you care
frightened to walk unafraid...
Ghosts cling to your clothes
like screams to torn shirts
So, when you're with me
You walk hollow,
into the sorrows we go
Running scared-
"If there's something strange
in your neighborhood"
Don't know what evil may brood
Just assume
They're coming after-
Beat up every Casper!
I walk and talk with your shell
So many fears to dispel
I'm no ghost buster
But, I'm getting good
at bustin' up shadows
away from you
I'm a corner street light,
which means many sleepless nights
fog and somber clouds of despair
my soul fluorescent,
ever iridescent
watchful eyes
let my light be your proton pack
I got your back!
spooky apparitions
lumps in your throat
pray to heavenly hosts
whatever concerns you most
"I ain't afraid of no ghosts"
"I ain't afraid of no ghosts"
"woosh...Don't get caught alone no no..."

(added 05.24.09)

little drummer boy

come they tell me, pa rum pum pum
a new born King can’t bear to see, pa rat tat tat tat
our finest gifts we lost
only reining fire, pa rum pa-bomb bomb bomb

So to honor Him, we run run run
into a blood red sun

Little baby, pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too, so done done done done
I have no idea what to bring, pa rum pa pum pum pum
This beating heart is fit for a King,
hide for cover from terrorist stations

Shall I play for you, its rockin’ bombs
pa numb numb numb numb
On my drum?

Sky nodded, some some some
The sun and moon kept time, pa rum pum pum pum
My heart played for him, the sum sum sum sum
of my best parts,
so done done done done

Then He smiled as the sun set, into rest rest rest
Me and my beating drum.

(added 12.07.08)

the tick, tock

destruction is near!
I hear it in the bellwether news,
I feel it the sway of the autumn leaves
mockingbird has done her last impression
Billy Crystal his last marvelous
orange sunsets no longer taste like sorbet,
Maybe, it’s the signs of the times sweets
This bell around my neck
has me following others to certain death
We’ve cashed out on all this rain
after cut-out holes on cardboards
only a clouded temperamental sun
One last, I love you,
said, the crashing stone
after two birds died
Conversations will remain incomplete,
maybe, it’s goodbye
same time, tomorrow.

(added 12.07.08)

after-hours

I have never met anyone
who has re-written loneliness
or has found a way to remedy
what hundreds of self-help books have missed
those inside voices lack depth for echoes
since agony flows muted in the bloodstream
streets of solitude
silently calls your name
after the clubs have let out at 3:00 am,
perfect time to hear the city speak
marquee lights bounce and dance as children
slicing and jump roping
chasing a naked sun
spectrum morning,
the grace of God
can be found in synthetic forms too-
mirror skyline undressing the moon
layered beauty is much harder to see
there’s a simple truth in all this,
you come to the realization
some moments are best felt alone.

- Rafael Andrade Garza © March 12, 2008

dark room

I crawl-
buried in the shadows
covers of dusk and dawn
It’s an unfinished life
we’re all monsters
Black film and drapes
inching the right corner
before the undeveloped light
imparts her sunshine smiles

- Rafael Andrade Garza © January 23, 2008

the rat, the cat and the hat
(series in poverty)

the rat

overnight rain has collected
into the murky San Antonio River,
the river walk still asleep
fascinated, I watch a fat brown rat
scurry to devour
a half-eaten Jack-in-the-Box burger
teeth shine
like aluminum trash cans
in dawn sunlight
accidentally, he slides down his rat ass
into the drainage ditch
slipping hope,
in the year of the rat

the cat

under a downtown San Antonio bridge
plenty of bony tabby cats
curl up legs for scraps
on this unseasonably cold Saturday,
bums hurry to grab
Meals on Wheels sandwiches
leaning back on bird-crapped walls
fat cats in Washington don’t care
huddled, pigeon-holed by a capitalistic system
today the lame duck Prez said
the economy is slowing down
but, there’s no slowing down that sandwich line

the hat

Big window sign
at the Salvation Army
says, “$1 Hats”,
outside the thrift store,
off Alamo Street
a shopping cart
runs into on-coming traffic
trucker caps, baseball hats
go flying everywhere
new Mercedes almost hit,
one hat reads,
“Mo’ money, Mo’ Problems”

- Rafael Andrade Garza © March 12, 2008

Mortar Song

Burn upon stone
your words
that you left me
A mineral rock
A limestone mountain
A thousand emotions
all of them layers
your hurt
individual units laid in
treachery
betrayal
marble hope
granite heart
take that stone
laid in foundation
heat, sun and time
you fortify me
you built a stronger man.

- Rafael Andrade Garza © April 25, 2007

Crazy Cosmonaut

Contortioned in my manned maneuvering unit,
I’m conformed to this lonely flight
Cosmic embryo in crisis
Dreams begin with fetal ecstasies
of Mighty Mouse moon missions
“Must save the world from itself!”
All stars are on me-
Roll up on the planets until I die,
A ball of fury in my sight
A bronze sun is a hellish heart
in flames and in love
I make like a Jetsons flash
cruising the galaxies cholo-style for babes
I search all over the universe
for this crazy thing called love
I’m willing to trade this lost heart
for your taken part
of a feeble electronaut’s
daunting assignment to
to throw the alignments out of shape
and stake a flag in the land of love.

love is faster than a speeding bullet

If you were to shred my spirit’s tee
You’ll find a Superman S
where a bulls-eye used to be
my soul once bullet-ridden
with lost love
and bleeding sorrow
is coming back
even stronger tomorrow

nothing can defeat experience
but wisdom-
this is why I try to find new ways
to overcome my sworn enemies
the loneliness
the vice
the pity

If you were to hear my chest
echoes of a troubled city-
rockford fosgate beats upon flesh
blood flows from Technochtitlan
democratic bones carved out of Parthenon
my heart is Mt. Everest
and from this highest hope
I’m not afraid to fall

In my camera eye,
exists an imperfect world
ghosts walking where happy souls should be
on these hollow streets,
there are crimes against the heart
I put my superman t-shit back on.

Bonfires

I live with my denial
that I never reached you
inevitably it’s true,
every attempt
to notice my lights
fly by nights
lifting the weight of your doubts
familiar ground,
down on my knees
your world is heavy,
I’m Atlas left holding
falling questions at each side
midnight embers in your steelyard,
It takes cold faith
to walk on burning coals
If it’s anything like your fire
the smoldering of my heart
will recognize your love
as simply matchsticks
in the greatest bonfires,
I want to rub against
something more than sparks
in the lesser lights
This passion I carry
I cry-- lost about its source
starved without love
a white ghost,
left alone to burn
caught in a back draft
with only years,
and the quiet reckoning of flames.

the first girl I ever loved is dead

the first one I prayed to God to
and dedicated songs on my walk-man
in post-modern days of trapper keepers
before Hilfiger,
when Marithé & Francois Girbaud
was the obsession,
I sat behind a girl in high school algebra class
a bronze angel complexion
she made me lose my religion
I remember when
my good friend Robert and myself
fought for her affection
It took a lot out of me
to offer a heart pendant
which she took
a tender thank you
didn’t say no
when I asked her to be mine
but, she said yes to Robert
after this crucial moment
they started their torrid life
heartbreak, love apart, together
the sweetest birds never sang again
sometimes they flutter inside
a few years removed from high school
we spoke again at the strawberry festival
passionately upset with her relationship
our near courtship
delightfully laughable
as she introduced me to her sons
what could have been our life
perhaps, if she had taken the heart pendant
the one hanging in her rosy locker
a locket never opened
life continued as it could be
with our separate lives
only a few disconnected phone calls
I know she always cared
I never forgot her
Her painful life couldn’t be spared
rainbows don’t have beds
they won’t sleep with me
they search for shallow rivers instead
a murder-suicide reached national news
a young family gone
a bloody diary
contrary to what was reported
nothing was ever solved
they say she off'd her family
several relationships later
I remember her still
I don’t keep hearts on pendants anymore
my talisman walks without fear
I held my fire
I kept it burning bright
my passion these days is a mission
going to catch me a new love someday
thorns from flowers never hurt me again
for I dream without flowerbeds
she was going to be happy one day
I wrapped her pain in one last prayer
I still haven’t found what she was looking for.

Elm Street

“X” marks the spot

it stains a busy street
into a freeway,
where our innocence was taken
one spirited November afternoon
over forty years have passed
but, I can still hear the cries
trace the ghosts through the grassy knolls
“pop, pop, pop”
out goes freedom
through a six-story window
or was it just a diversion
to spell all the conspiracy theorists?
This man was no saint
But, he brought about much good
that seems to be missing now
with a world full of lesser angels
to fill two heavens

“X” marks the spot

where America’s hearts
never again pretended,
their lives would continue unaffected
all declared wars have a price
it started the killing line
Malcolm X
MLK
Bobby Kennedy
the world left wondering
“Damn, who’s next?”
How many tragic “X’s”?
Conspiracies the mind perplexes

“X” marks the spot

the start of the U.S.
in the terrorists cross hairs
fast forward,
buildings fall in pairs
Do remnants of the cold war abound?
I look at my country now
and wish JFK was around

“X” marks the spot

where America’s pain was caught on film
frozen bullets with many names
Democracy never felt the same
I walk down Elm Street
Silent whispers in the trees
I hear history breathe

“X” marks the spot

where fear still dominates the news today
and a Bush administration
more intent on selling trepidation,
while civil liberties deteriorate
JFK warned,
“Let us never negotiate out of fear.
But let us never fear to negotiate.”

Main Event
(Charles Bukowski vs. Saul Williams)

Break.
peace. love. war.
those are fightin’ words man
one more beer
I’ll take you on
you jab me with the rain
run circles around me
like Sugar Ray Leonard
dazzle me with the stars
I have no room for your metaphors
I’ll uppercut you with brutal truth
straight right with my hardest fight
we take seats
with opposite sides of the lyrical universe
spit in the poetic bucket
Break.
You come with a right (ous) cross
I duck it.
In the center,
we embrace in brotherhood
separate like enemies
in the canon neighborhood
hard left to my body
your beautiful rhyme
gets me everytime
Break.
I wonder
who’s the best pound for pound?
your words vs. mine
we roll with the best punches around
you bring spirituality in your corner
I never let my bluebird die out
in this painful life
you bring the best to the bout
to fight the promotion machine
leave no word undone
with these specialties
we battle the injustice, son.

A bit about Rafael: Rafael Andrade Garza is a Southwest poet from San Antonio, TX. His work has been published in several literary sites such as: The Sidewalk’s End, Wordriot.org, and Dying Writers.com. A senior writer at Jimmy Santiago Baca.com, Rafael has active writer profiles at urbis.com under the name 'analog_kid' and at myspace.com, analog_kid. His work is heavily influenced by Jimmy Santiago Baca, Charles Bukowski, Jack Gilbert, Pablo Neruda, Li-Young Lee, Federico Garcia Lorca, Octavio Paz among others. He’s also an active member with the Latino Writer’s Society of San Antonio and Gemini Ink in San Antonio.