Point of contact with god & love through hallucinogens

Everything held my gaze
Telegraph poles, silver birches
Dog excrement looked back
The Sky looked back at me
I stared into the sun
I looked at the palm of my hands
Suns spun around my hands
Just like nothing on earth
I had a camera
I photographed it all
The benign sentient things smiled for my lens
I photographed the sun on f22 & 2000th of a second
I photographed the crushed but still smiling green
green grass
It pointed at me and the river swirled into my head
And out of my mind

- nitin

On

Underneath the rapid: on-off
of the strip-light
making my hands shake
my eyes blink
out of synch
Behind closed eyelids
I see you
open eyed
I see the closed
the locked door
My heart palpitates
with a kind of sickness
that one calls waiting

- nitin

Travel

Erase next of kin
from passport
Erase friends from address book
Tear up diary entries
who am I?
keeping a fucking diary
Count saved pills in airport lounge
of this shitty little country
Stroll to bar
down two double brandies
Head light-headed
to buy tequila
Transfer cactus juice to Evian bottle
Sit watching fish-like planes
take-off and land
Standing still
Sterility of the canvas
Sterility of the airport lounge
The short euphoria
of a suicidal binge
The dumb Neanderthal
logic of switching, cutting off that which is broken

- nitin

My friends wife

Today I wake up dry
Cocaine and gin withdrawing
'and I think to myself, what a wonderful day'
Gotta get back
I turn over and look
I pull the cover away
smile half asleep wander your body with my red eyes
You pull the covers back and sigh
guilt free
I wander you again
then get ready for a shower, some powder, a drink
and day nine thousand of my life
I wish I was you
lying there, composed, rooted, dormant (married)
I can't sleep like that

- nitin

Fly the flag

I can see where it all fits
You shits
Turning into fascists
at the drop of a flag
You are shits
You shits
You will do what you are told
You shits
You shits
Turning into fascists
at the drop of a flag

- nitin

Untitled

I would hang myself now
but I know
You are multiple
and round
every corner
of this
flat earth
I would drink
As I use to
But can't be dazed
for you
I would run away
and into your arms
But I can't find you
like that anymore
I would think of me
And only me
But I think of you
And only you
I would soak my blood
In morphine
it's closer to the bone
than love
Ever fleeting love
I will wait
and see you
On the other side
of this earth
Soon

- nitin