1990. That's the year my life changed forever. I was one of the million to be sent to the Gulf War. I will not go into detail of all I did but I will go into detail of all I learned. I was 19, married with a child and one on the way. I was 1 1/2 years into my 4 year tour with the Marine Corps acting as an anti-tank assualtman. For whatever political and personal reasons, Saddam Hussein decided to aggressively overtake his unsuspecting neighbor, Kuwait. This turn of events rewrote all that my 19 years had taught me and turned my whole world askew.

2 days after Iraq invaded Kuwait. Phone ringing, 2:30 a.m., the only calls at that time are the bad calls. “Be on base in 1 hour” said the voice. On base my battalion is packing up field gear, getting our weapons, loading our ammo and filling out our final paperwork. I say ‘final’ because at this time we had to make out our living wills. I don’t know know if anyone has made out their wills, but let me tell you, at the age of 19 with real combat a very real possibility, it seemed that death was real close and may come real soon. Quick briefs on where we were going, how we may die and how to prevent it left me feeling helpless and afraid. Would my lungs be liquified, left to choke on my bodily fluids as only a fine biological/chemical weapon can do? (which Saddam had stock piled). That night I said good-bye to my wife and son and seriously thought that it may be for the last time. 30 hours later we touched down in Saudi Arabia.

Desert Shield was six months in my life where I was ultimately and totally used as a pawn in a game of global chess. We had months of training, months of waiting and months of thinking. The predominant thoughts in my head were of surviving. Each day, pressures mounted and forces grew. The chances of peace and survival dwindled. In January we were gearing up for the ground war that the air war could not prevent. Facts and figures of what we were up against and how we would attack brought reality one step closer to my life. My task force was to be the spearhead of the ground attack. Reality was, through figures, that 70% of us would be casualties. I looked around and counted 10 of us. 7 would not survive when all was said and done...according to statistics. I had 70% chance of a premature death at 19. I prayed, I dwelled, I prayed, I bonded, I prayed, I loved...I prayed. Would I see my family again? My friends? My home? My future? Would I be left maimed? A vegetable? A cripple? A psychological mess? At 19 these things should not cross your mind.

The most common question asked about my experiences is “What was it like?” It was like waiting to die. Luckily for me, the statistics were wrong. We all know how it ended. I survived...fully intact. I actually grew into a better person. Being so close to death, thinking it, seeing it and smelling it brought me a new perspective on life. I see life as something that does end. It ends at age 2 in some cases. 19 in others. 75 in most. But you never know. Why dwell on the negative? If today was your last day of life would you worry about bills? The guy who cut you off? Would you worry about the position at work you didn’t get? The new car you want that your neighbor got? Life is a precious gift that at any moment could be taken away...taken from your parents, your siblings, your friends...from you. Life is about right now. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, NOW. Enjoy now, appreciate now, and the yesterdays and tomorrows will be beautiful.