“Rhonda,” he sighed. She couldn’t see or hear him, though. He approached his wife and placed his hand just above her shoulder, as Satan had commanded.
“Don’t do it, John,” came an unearthly voice from behind him. He turned, and there, in magnificent glory, was an angel of the Lord. He was encased in a warm, white, radiating glow, and on either side of him stretched stupendous feathered wings. It was the most beautiful sight John had ever beheld.
Regaining his composure, he asked, “Why not? She killed me first. She’s got it coming to her.”
“That is not for you to decide, John. Besides, the Lord doesn’t look too kindly on murder.”
“Yeah, well, it appears that he doesn’t like for us to have any fun at all, from what I can tell. What, doesn’t he have a sense of humor?”
“Don’t be bitter, John. It’s unbecoming. Besides, you still love this woman.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Yes, you do. I can feel it. What’s more, so can you. Look inside your soul, John.”
The angel vanished as quickly as he appeared. Again John turned to face his wife, and again he went to rest his hand upon her shoulder. His hand, surprisingly, stayed in place. “Damn it,” John cried. “I can’t do it.”
He hung his head low, and watched in amazement as the floor beneath him began to spiral down and out. He was sucked into an immense, black vortex and flung through space and time. At last, he found himself in an all white room, before a set of massive golden gates.
“Heaven,” he uttered, in disbelief.
“Yes,” said the same angel from behind the gate. “Heaven.”
“Can I come in? Are my sins forgiven?”
The angel laughed. “You’re joking, right? You broke nine Commandments, John.”
“But not the tenth one. And I had the chance, as you well now.”
“So you want to be rewarded for not killing someone?”
“Well, how about for pissing Satan off then?”
The angel smiled a beatific smile. “Yes, well, the Lord will be glad for that much.”
|
