saturday night, two a.m. and i'm downing glasses of port with my demented grandmother who reeks of stale bacon(and incidentally looks like stale bacon as well) and piss, rock'n'roll indeed, she's talking about zionism while i'm humming "i'm gonna be iron like lion in zion" or something like that, utter bollocks, catchy nonetheless, my gran is slurring words, BIG words: sequestration? alienation?integration? deportation? but the deluded drunkard gets them all wrong and it sounds something like "sekwaalifinatiodeportemisationment", and if she doesn't shut up right now, gonna deport her to some nice place where violent macho nurses are gonna inject her with some funny substances and she won't even realise she's bound to a hospital bed cos she thinks she's greta garbo and that virile nurse who's a dead ringer for simon le bon is humping her saggy bony legs, so she should be fucking grateful. cold war? enough already...and basically an eighty year old demented widow is drinking me under the table whilst quoting some obscure french philosopher, and it's a saturday night and i called my coke-snorting, pigeon-saving maff and he told me:"piss off, prick",but i'm not a prick, i'm a cunt.

"come, oh please, i want to hear you come", the only thing coming's armageddon and you're nothing but an obnoxious unemployed retard and the rash on your arms makes me want to puke, and if you don't stop driveling on my shoulders i'm gonna smack your head against the wall and the blood stains next to my morrissey poster will look beautiful, oh and by the way, your cock smells.
and the fact that you're an OASIS fan doesn't redeem you, i really don't wanna know how your garden grows and someday you will find me in a champagne supernova in the sky and i will raise my middle finger to you and i won't need your money anymore cos i'll be disgustingly rich, sipping champagne with michael stipe.

my grandfather died a month ago-his funeral was a BLAST, such fun we had, who needs raves when you can attend funerals? and what a mental priest!-he'll never live to see his granddaughter thrive in her grim social surroundings, overcoming terrible ordeals: blackmail, rape, slander, junkie threats, pervy neighbours, night shifts under neon lights, treacherous friends, black eyes, broken noses, and what not; and all the while this fucking heroine is writing a mindblowing novel that will be the most controversial bestseller ever and suddenly a whole nation starts reading again, and
he'll never fucking know, cos the cunt had to die, he had to do a stroke while pushing out a turd for crying out loud, it's a fucking disgrace,but boy did it made me laugh.